Save Your Marriage
Posted on September 29, 2007, by admin, under Relationship and Beliefs.
I have discussed couples for nearly 40 years, and I still have feelings, if a couple, in particular, a couple with children, choose the job at their place of marriage difficult. It is my experience that when two people really want to save their marriage, they can. Even if a person wants to work in marriage and the other not, but the other is bound in marriage, and cure of major changes can occur. It is actually one person to change a system Codependent, but when both are dedicated to their work inside, miracle can happen very quickly.
This is the case of Robert and Karen, aged 14, married and father of two children.
The main problem in the complex relations that any person tent, the other in different ways, and nobody takes care of loving every human being itself makes others accountable for their feelings of happiness and security, and neither the responsibility their own happiness and security.
Robert tried to control, with its fury of Karen and retirement. When she was not close enough for him, as, for example, do not want to, you hear the trial on the job, or if they do not feel that love with him, it would be more and more crazy and sullen. He hoped that the punishment of him, it what he wanted - what he felt was needed in order.
Karen was attempted with Robert monitor their homes. It would go to listen and learn about the work, through the path of boredom. It is in him and making love, if it is not turned on, in the hope that they would like and not get angry with him or leave you for another woman. But Karen had reached a place of deep resentment. She was almost ready to leave, instead of getting lost in the relationship. When she finally decided to be honest with Robert, it was more than ready to come in contact with their counsel.
As Robert and Karen started telephone sessions with me, they felt the two following:
“I am responsible to make happy and you’re liable to make me happy. That is why we are together - to keep each other happy. Why be otherwise? If you are not satisfied, it is my debt, and if I am not happy, it is your fault. ”
It has never occurred, or Robert Karen, in which they have for their own happiness. It was never them to cooperate for their love, instead of love. It was a totally new concept for them, they are in them a child - their inner child, their feeling himself - and that it should refrain from any responsibility for their own inner child. Each of them took delivery of their child inside the other person who, in essence, the words: “Here. This child, my sense of the individual, is your responsibility. ”
The problem is that, like a child would actually feel, if you always try to give him or someone else to maintain your child feels inside to leave when another person, your emotions . So do you think your task feelings of the other person is not Loving You, if you really do not have Loving You!
I worked with Robert and Karen, she teaches how loving his own emotions. Within a few meetings, Robert and Karen, his love rather than trying to love. The pleasure, joy, love and passion have been returned to their relationship!
